The Cause of Our Lifetime

This is wonderful. A few years ago, some goofs from the diehard fans of the San Jose Clash/Earthquakes/whatever made a banner (I refuse to call banners 'tifo'0 that for some reason referenced Charlie Sheen. They were reprimanded by the club. It resulted in this letter, which is on par with Thomas Paine's "Common Sense."

1906 Ultras Statement Regarding Protest

We are protesting the unjust probation that the Earthquakes front office have imposed on our group as punishment for our Tifo (overhead banner) at the Seattle home game on April 2nd. We will not stand for the front office’s unwarranted attempt at censorship. Three days after the Seattle game, Ultras leaders received an e-mail from the Earthquakes front office notifying us that a Seattle supporter complained about the tifo on Twitter, and that the Earthquakes front office agreed that the tifo was vulgar, a violation of the fan code of conduct, poorly represented the club, and that as a result the Ultras were being punished by being placed on probation.

The tifo at the Seattle game was in no way vulgar or obscene, and in no way violates the fan code of conduct. There was no nudity, no sexual acts, and no profanity. The tifo was merely an irreverent take on Charlie Sheen, something which the Earthquakes front office itself has indulged in (see their youtube video from a few weeks ago). If the tifo was so obscene and such a violation of the code of conduct, why did no Earthquakes staff member ask us to take it down, or complain to us during or after the game? Why did not a single Earthquakes fan complain about the tifo? Why did the front office not say anything to us for three full days? For the Earthquakes front office to now come forward and suggest the tifo was obscene is extremely insulting to the Ultras artists who spent countless hours of their free time making it. Our protest will continue until the unjust probation is lifted.

Sincerely,

1906 ultras leadership

I placed in bold my favorite line in our era's version of the 97 Thesis. It stinks that the team's owners found your dumb banner offensive. But it's more offensive to me that:

A) You call people who airbrush "Winning" references on dollar store bedsheets as "artists."

B) That you're whining about the 'countless' hours of free time that were spent making such a travesty. Maybe you could have spent your free time in a more productive fashion.

Here are things you could have done with your free time that are more productive than insulting Charlie Sheen:

1) Literally anything else.